


Destiel Fluff pt 1

by phoenixburncold



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Some Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:44:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixburncold/pseuds/phoenixburncold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiel fluff and light smut. What you didn't see on screen mashed with what you did.<br/>This current part begins in Season 4 Episode 16 - On the Head of a Pin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destiel Fluff pt 1

Castiel took a steadying breath. He almost didn’t want to go into the room. He could see Dean through the window in the door, lying there in the hospital bed, unconscious. But what was worse was he could sense Dean’s soul. It was almost as broken as Dean’s body. Castiel took another breath before opening the door. Guilt filled the angel as he looked at the man in the bed. _It’s my fault. I should have never had him go in that room with Alastair. He knew it would turn bad. How could he see it and I could not _? The scene flashed into his mind again.__  
Alastair had Dean against the hexacle, his hand on Dean’s throat as he lifted the man up, thumb pressing against his jugular veins. Dean was dying, his lungs starving of air, brain becoming oxygen deprived, his body broken and bleeding. Castiel had heard the noises coming from the room and had recognized the change, but the angel had merely thought Dean was just blowing off steam, using his more favored approach of fists. Castiel wasn’t sure what prompted him to check the room, but he was grateful he did. The angel had grasped the demon-killing blade and stabbed it into the demon’s chest. But Alastair was only wounded, not killed. Even tortured, the demon was a match for Castiel, and when the angel was pushed into a hook that protruded from the wall, it was all Castiel could do to keep the body alive. The heart had been pierced, and as Castiel tried to heal the wound around the hook, Alistair gripped Castiel’s throat and yanked him down. The angel had healed the wound, but then he was trapped. Alistair chanted, and Castiel fought to stay in the body. He was losing. It was only because of Sam he wasn’t cast back to Heaven. _Sam... _The younger Winchester brother made Castiel nervous.__  
Betrayal stabbed Castiel’s heart. He had fought his brother Uriel, and nearly been killed by him. Anna, the fallen angel, his one-time superior and somehow still friend, had saved him. _So many deaths. How many more will die? What will happen if I am the one has to strike the final blow? I don’t know if I can kill one of my brothers or sisters. Father, why did you not stop Uriel _? The silence made the angel uneasy. He wasn’t sure whether he believed his brother or not, but what he said still echoed in Castiel’s mind.__ “There is no will. No wrath. No God.”  
Dean moaned in his sleep, bringing the angel back to the present moment. Guilt replaced Castiel’s uneasiness and the angel sat down in the chair beside the bed. He had been instructed to not heal Dean, and although Castiel wished to heal the man, he could not go against orders. Instead he sat there and spread a wing over Dean’s body, protecting him from the sight of any demon.  
When Dean woke, Castiel was there. “Are you all right?” the angel asked. Dean was silent a long moment.  
“No thanks to you,” the man managed around a wounded throat.  
Castiel’s guilt increased before he pushed it aside. “You need to be more careful.”  
“You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap,” Dean remarked. Castiel sighed.  
“That's not what I mean.” The angel hesitated before telling Dean Uriel was dead.  
“Was it the demons?”  
”It was disobedience. He was working against us.”  
There was a long pause as Dean worked up the courage to ask the question he didn’t want to know the answer to. “Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?”  
Castiel paused not wanting to tell the man, seeing the anguish in his soul. “Yes.” The man turned away from the angel and Castiel heard Dean’s soul scream. “When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell and we fought our way to get to you before you—"  
“Jump-started the apocalypse,” Dean finished.  
Castiel looked up wishing he could do more, help in some way. Dean’s soul screamed in Castiel’s hearing and the angel wished he could soothe it. “And we were too late.”  
There was a long pause. “Why didn't you just leave me there, then?”  
“It's not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate.” He paused giving Dean time to let that sink in. “The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it.”  
“Lucifer? The apocalypse?” Dean’s soul wailed and it pained Castiel. The man’s guilt and despair made Castiel’s own grace ache. “What does that mean?” Castiel didn’t know, so he was silent. “Hey!” Dean shouted over his aching throat. “Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean?!”  
“I don't know,” Castiel admitted.  
“Bull!”  
“I don't,” Castiel insisted. “Dean, they don't tell me much. I know…our fate rests with you.”  
“Well, then you guys are screwed.” Dean’s voice broke at the last word. Castiel looked away from the man before lowering his wing, brushing the tips of his feathers on Dean’s skin, blocking out his soul’s wailing. “I can't do it, Cass. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not…I'm not strong enough.” Castiel looked back at Dean, compassion filling him even more. “Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.” Castiel saw the tear drop from Dean’s eye and looked away to spare the hunter.  
“Rest,” Castiel said, standing. Before he could say anything else, Castiel touched Dean’s shoulder, sending him into a deep sleep. _Don’t dream, _Castiel added, making sure the man wouldn’t.__  
Castiel didn’t know it, but this was the moment he first loved Dean more than he had loved another in his presence. This love would become second only to the angel’s love for God himself. The angel left silently, confusion and compassion swirling within him.


End file.
